Pike Fishing in Denali – Customers From Hell

I was designing a Kindle Direct book for a client. We had evidence, but there was a problem with the coverage.

Me: Yes, looking at the screenshot, it’s not a bleeding issue, it’s 100% a page count issue. I will need the updated pagecount from you to continue.

Customer: KDP came back to me, with the page count (518).

It was Friday, just before the end of the day. Then, Saturday:

Customer: How is the cover resizing going now that you have the exact KDP page count and dimensions?

Later in the day:

Customer: What’s new, is repairing the blanket harder than you might think? Or do you fish for pike in Denali? I hope you’re okay.

On Sunday.

Customer: Okay, unless you’re on life support or assaulting an isolated tribe in Papua New Guinea, you owe me some sort of response today. My next step, since I have nothing of the contract for a pocket blanket useful, will be to call on Reedsy for a way to complete the project.

Me: Hello, I’m sorry but I was away for the weekend, I had very tight deadlines before that. I’m currently working on over 20 different projects so I can’t always come up with things like this immediately. I will have it for you shortly. I finished everything on my own, and even did the printed cover twice. I made changes after they were agreed. I know you are new to this but if you look at it from my side you sent me two incorrect page counts which means I have to start the whole resizing process over again. So what do you mean “assault an isolated tribe in Papua New Guinea”? This is completely out of place and honestly very rude.

Customer: It meant you might be offline. Sorry if you thought I really believe you are an eco-tourist. It is also a violation of etiquette to fail to send a brief acknowledgment that you have received my emails. However, I knew you were fed up with the whole project and decided to let it slip, or drop its priority to # 21, leaving me to my own resources. Thanks for the file; I’ll submit it and see if it flies. If not, I’ll let you know, but I think this time around I’ll just use the front cover and make my own with one of their models.

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