Not a client as much as a meeting

I do music production under contract for other companies. The client contacted me representing a production company, asking if I could do music for an automobile advertisement. We signed contracts and I cooked up sample songs for him.

Customer: These are great! Stretch them out a bit and we’ll be good to go!

Me: These are examples of tracks, the real product is the total length. How do you want to calculate the payment? I will take checks or PayPal, but checks will take a little longer to confirm payment for me, as it is my policy not to send leads until I have been paid.

Customer: Wait what? You must be new to this area. You pay us to use your leads. You are a professional, you should know that. Isn’t that how it works?

Me: Absolutely not. You are paying me for the rights to use this track once and only once in this commercial. I don’t work for free and there is no way to pay someone to use my songs.

Customer: But it’s $ 600! I can’t afford this!

Me: Then you shouldn’t have signed the contract. No money, no leads.

Customer: Can’t you do this for free? I knew you in college! I was in your history class!

Me: That’s good, but it still doesn’t give you a discount on my music. Why is this such a problem anyway? You supposedly work for a big budget production house. The voiceover recording costs more than my songs.

Customer: Well… yes, but it’s not for the production house. This is for my class.

Me: …sorry?

After further questions, the client did not represent a big budget production house at all. On the contrary, he was still in college, taking up a film production course, in which he had to get original music for the project he was doing. He failed the last film class for stealing music without permission and was going to be kicked out of college if he didn’t pass.


A blast from the past of the Clients From Hell archives!

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